• A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman & said, “I haven’t eaten anything in four days.”
She looked at him & said, “God, I wish I had your willpower.”
• When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.
• Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.
• Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, “Maro dikro Dubai gayo?”
A: My son drowned.
• Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, “Ramesh no dikro STATES ma gayon” ?
A: Ramesh’s son failed in statistics…
• Q: Why did the Gujju go to London?
A: To see BIG BEHN.
• Q: Why did the Gujju go to Rome ?
A: He wanted to listen to POPE music.
• Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, Kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
• Jeeto: If I die what’ll you do?
Bhatti: I may also die.
Bhatti: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.
• Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
• Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
• Q: Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
A: The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more.
• The owner of a company tells his employees:
You worked very hard this year. The company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I ‘ll give everyone a check for Rs 5000. If you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks.
• Q: Why do blondes keep empty milk cartons in the fridge?
A: In case they want a black coffee.
• Q: Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank?
A: To check his balance.
• The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Bhatti Claus.
He doesn`t believe in Bhatti Claus.
He is Bhatti Claus.
• Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust!”
• Q: Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
• My accountant told me that the only reason why my business is looking up is that it’s flat on its back.
• Panting and sweating, Bhatti and Butt on a tandem bicycle finally made it to the top of a steep hill.
“That was a tough climb,” said Butt.
“Sure was,” replied Bhatti. “And if I hadn’t kept the brakes on, we would have slid down backward.”
• A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her and says, “Hi, honey, want a little company?”
“Why?” asks the woman. “Do you have one to sell?”
• Q: Why are Egyptian’s Children always confused??
A: Because after death, their daddy becomes the mummy.
• An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. Bhatti was observing him. Suddenly a star falls, seeing that Bhatti shouted, “Kya nishana lagaya hai!”
• Butt: Why is the Police nicknamed “The heart of the country”?
Bhatti: It beats, beats, beats….
• Once Professor Bhatti asked a plumber to come to his college. You know whyy?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
• Q: What four letter word starts with F and ends with K and if a man can’t get it he uses his hands?
• Bhatti: Do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means…Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
Jeeto: It could also mean – With Idiot For Ever.
• Bhatti: What kind of a wife do you want?
Pappu: Exactly like moon; which appears in the night and disappears in the morning!
• Q: What does a lazy dog chase?
A: Parked cars.
• Waiter, waiter, do you have frog’s legs?
Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!
• Q: Did you hear about the new Iraqi tank?
A: Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.
• A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked young Johnny, he said, “My father’s dead, Miss.”
“Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?”
“He went blue and collapsed.”
• Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The Month of March!!
• Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I’m under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
• An American report: We crossed chickens with cows. The new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs.
Report from France: We crossed flies and bees. The hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey.
Report from Russia: We crossed a melon with cockroaches. When you cut this melon, seeds run away by themselves
• Q: Why did the Bhatti put his finger over the nail when he was hammering?
A: The noise gave him a headache.
• Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.
• Bhatti was drawing money from ATM. Butt, who was just behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****).
Bhatti replies, “Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258.”