A critic is a man

• A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
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• Falling hurts least to those who fly low and slow.
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• Faithful Husband: One whose alimony check is always on time
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• A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
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• No one is unemployed who minds his own business.
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• A kiss without a hug is like a flower without the fragrance.
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• Be nice to smokers. They don’t have long to live.
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• It’s ok to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.
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• Never vote for a politician. It only encourages them.
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• Education is the progressive discovery of ignorance.
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• Even water tastes bad when taken on doctor’s orders.
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• A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.
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• The good news is that the bad news is not much worse than usual.
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• Be satisfied with what you have, but never with who you are.
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• Ever dreamed that you were awake… and were TIRED the next day?
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• Any bad habit is easier to maintain than the corresponding good habit.
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• Even the best of friends cannot attend each other’s funeral.
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• Debt is one way of proving that it’s possible to have less than nothing.
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• Don’t hide ur head in the sand unless u have feathers on ur butt.
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• Love is man’s illusion, that one woman differs from another.
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• A free lunch is only found in mousetraps.
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• A husband is a man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.
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• A bug is a feature that didn’t make it into the manual.
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• A nudist is one who suffers from clothestrophobia.
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• A lot of people work but their minds are unemployed.
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• A barking dog never bites… while he’s barking.
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• A leader is best when people barely know that he exists.
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• A bad day at home is better than a good day at work.
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• A fool wants to be king. A wise man wonders if he can handle the job.
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• To be content with little is hard; to be content with much is impossible.
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• Good Morning is a contradiction in terms.
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• Friendship is not collection of hearts, but it is selection of hearts!
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• Those who do not have goals are doomed to work for those who do.
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• What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
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• Make your life a mission, not an intermission.
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• An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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• Experience is the pleasure that a vivid imagination lacks!
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• Crisis management works beautifully until an actual crisis occurs.
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• Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
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• A scholar is he who doesn’t repeat his mistakes but rather makes new ones.
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• A leader is one who knows where he wants to go, and gets up and goes.
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• A woman is a person who reaches for a chair when the phone rings.
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• There’s always the temptation to let other people think you’re normal.
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• When you’re arguing with a fool, make sure he isn’t doing the same thing.
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• Things always look better when you can’t see them.
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• The will to win is worthless if you don’t get paid for it.
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• Things always look better when you can’t see them.
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• Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age.
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• Luck has a peculiar habit of favouring those who don’t depend on it.
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• There’s no virtue in consistency if you’re consistently wrong.
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• Every one hates me because I’m paranoid.
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• Teamwork: A lot of mindless idiots doing exactly what the boss says!
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• Working is a delight, so, leave enough work for your colleagues…!
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• A beautiful dress is useless unless it inspires someone to take it off !
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• Money may be the root of all evil, but greed is the fertilizer.
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• A bachelor is a man who is free to choose, and chooses to be free.
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• Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases.
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• It is taken me all my life to understand that it is not necessary to understand everything.
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• If you are not enjoying your work, you should either change your attitude, or change your job.
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• Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something.
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• My aim in life is to die young when I’m very old.
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• Marriage is the hangover from the intoxication of passion.
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• I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
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• Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
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• A man should live forever, or die trying.
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• People who think they know everything are the easiest to fool.
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• Nobody notices what I do until I don’t do it.
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• I love my work, I could sit and watch it all day long.
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• Difficulty lies not in new ideas, but giving up the old ones.
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• God must love stupid people, he made so many of them.
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• The ladder of success is always missing a few rungs.
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• You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.
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• When a wise man argues with a woman, he says nothing!
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• There is only one way to be happily married & when I find that, I shall get married!
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• A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
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• Have the courage to act instead of react.
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• Laugh at ur problems; everybody else does.
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• Good manners are the lubricant of social intercourse
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• Skeptics scare away miracles.
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• Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
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• I am an optimistic pessimist.
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• Marriages are based on believing you won the arguments.
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• I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell that cannot.
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• When I gave her the ring, she gave me the finger!
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• Skeptics scare away miracles.
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• As long as I can remember, I’ve had amnesia.
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• Every man becomes a Freedom Fighter, immediately after marriage.
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• Democracy is voting for the candidate you dislike the least.
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• It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
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• Death: What some patients do in the end, to humiliate the doctor.
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• The height of injustice is having to pay for justice.
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• Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.
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• Death is all in the mind. Once you’re dead you forget all about it.
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• Better to create happiness than to pursue happiness.
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• Each day is a drive through history.

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