A lesbian goes to

 
• A lesbian goes to a gynecologist and the gynecologist says “I must say, this is the cleanest pussy I’ve seen in ages.”
“Thanks,” said the lesbian. “I have a woman in 4 times a week.”
 
• This old man marries a girl barely out of her teens. Needless to say she is asking for it so whenever they get into bed on the wedding night she asks him “So are we going to have rampant sex tonight?”
The man responds by raising his hand and outstreching his fingers.
“What? Five times?” asks the eager girl.
“No”, he replied. “Pick a finger”
 
• Q: What’s the difference between a horse’s tail and a man’s tie?
A: The horse’s tail covers up the entire asshole
 
• Woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms.
She said, “Depends on what’s in it for me.”
 
• Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They’re intended for the children, but it’s the men who usually end up playing with them
 
• These 3 gay guys are sitting in a hot tub and a condom floats to the top. One of the gay guys says to the others “who farted?”
 
• Panty: Its a certain aromatic curtain that opens before a rhythmic perfomance and closes when one of the performer collapses
 
• Q: What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
A: You can’t hear a vitamin
 
• A man, being in a bad mood, said to his wife, “Why do you bother wearing a bra? You don’t have anything to put in it!?”
His wife wryly replied, “Well, you wear briefs, don’t you?”
 
• I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend’s hand, ‘Cause everytime she’d wipe her rear I’d see the promised land….
 
• REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!
 
• Q: When does the skin meet skinn; hair meet hair; and the balls disappear?
A: whenever ones blinks the eyes
 
• Eve: Adam, do you love me?
Adam: No, I don’t!
Eve: Then, why did you make love to me?
Adam: Hello! As if I had any other choice!
 
• Santa in USA was masturbating looking towards the sky
Banta: What are you he doing?
Santa: I am makin love to my wife, Jeeto, through satelite
 
• Santa with big tummy goes for a walk in his vest and lungi. A gal jokingly asks Santa, “For how much is this big tank?”
Santa lifts hi lungi and says, “With the tap, its for 450”
 
• Q: How can U tell that an Auto-mechanic had sex?
A: One of his fingers is clean
 
• Prof: In humans, where is the smallest bone?
Female student: Sir, in the penis!
Prof: But Penis doesn’t have any bone.
Male student: Sir, it is not her fault. She has always seen erect penis
 
• Three prostitutes all hate life, decided to kill themselves.
The 1st one goes to a 50 feet tall cliff and jumps off. She lands on the concrete, and it took weeks to clean her mess up.
The 2nd one jumps from a 100 feet tall building, and lands on a car. It took months to clean her up.
The 3rd one jumps from a plane 120 feet in the air, and she lands on a lamppost. It took her years to wipe the smile off her face
 
• Q: Why are men like a toothbrush?
A: They are useless without handle
 
• Rooster & cat going over a bridge, cat slips & falls in river. Rooster cant stop laughing.
MORAL: Wherever theres a wet pussy theres a happy cock
 
• Q: What does a woman and a airplane have in common?
A: A cockpit
 
• Q: What do toys and women’s breasts have in common?
A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them
 
• Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend is horny?
A: You stick your hand down her pants and it feels like you’re feeding a horse
 
• Q: What is common between an Colonel’s wife and his car ?
A: Both are highly mantained and used by the drivers
 
• Q: What’s the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a light on
 
• Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration
 
• Q: What’s the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy
 
• Q: What’s the difference between pulling a curtain and a panty?
A: When you pull a curtain, it means that the show is over, but pulling down a panty means IT’S SHOWTIME
 
• 3 good manners of male penis
1. Courteous-it stands before performing
2. Emotional-it cries during the performance
3. Polite-it bows down after the performance
 
• A boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep now comes the sad part-
the next day their driver died
 
• 7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful, Responsible, Energetic, Adorable, Sweet, Truthful and Self-Organised.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S
 
• Q: What is the similarity between a mobile phone and a wife ?

1. You like them when they are new
2. You like other’s
3. You hav to charge them both at night
 
• Luv is not measured by sweet words nor by generous gifts nor by corageous acts, it is measured by the willingness to continue after you already came twice
 
• Q: Why sperm donation is more xpensive than blood donation?
A: Because it’s hand made
 
• Q: What is a similarity between college going girls and pregnant women?
A: Both miss periods
 
• If you have 2 balls between your legs, then you are a man. But if you have 4 balls between your legs, don’t think you are Super man; there’s someone fucking you
 
• Q: What is the difference between a postage stamp and a girl?
A: One is mail fee and the other is female
 
• Q: What’s the difference between pulling a curtain and a panty?
A: When you pull a curtain, it means that the show is over. But pulling down a panty means it’s SHOWTIME
 
• The waitress walks up to one of her tables and is shocked to see three Japanese men, all sat there masturbating violently.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she screams.
One of the Japanese guys looks up and says, “Well, it says on the menu, First come, First served!”
 
• Four gays in the bar and only one stool
What do they do?
Turn it over !!
 
• Q: Who is a gynaecolgist ?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure
 
• A couple is watching boxing on TV. The husband sighs and says, ” I’m disappointed! It was all over in 4 minutes!”
The wife retorts, “Good! Now you know how I feel!”
 
• Q: A reporter asked Clinton one day. “Was Monica lying?”
A: Clinton responded: “No”, he responded, “She was on her knees.”
 
• Q: What do old women have between their breasts the young women don’t ?
A: A bellybutton !
 
• Q: Why are married women heavier than single women ?
A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in the bed and go to the fridge

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