On the first day

• On the first day, in a kindergarten, the young Miss introduced herself and was teaching the kids how to remember her name. “Now, listen, my name is Prussy- it is pussy with an R in it.”
Next day, she asked one of the kids whether he remembered her name. The boy replied “Yes, madam, your name is Crunt!”
 
• A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to ‘write’ with it.
Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, “Well that’s just great… some asshole’s got my pen.
 
• Q: What do you call an adolescent rabbit ?
A: A pubic hair.
 
• Woman: Do you sell viagra?
Chemist: Yes we do
Woman: Does it work?
Chemist: Yes, it does
Woman: And can you get it over the counter
Chemist: Only if I take 2
 
• Q: Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug dealer?
A: A hooker because a hooker can clean her crack and re-use it, a drug dealer can’t.
 
• Q: What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.
 
• Q: What is the similarity between the pizza delivery boy and gynacologist?
A: They both can smell it but cannot have it.
 
• What do women do immediately after sex?
5% sleeps straight away
5% go to bathroom to wash
5% read book
85% go look for their vibrators!!
 
• Girl- Doctor look at my vagina.
Doctor- Why your hole is so big
Girl- I was raped by the elephant
Doctor- Elephants has small dick
Doctor-But he fingered Me first.
 
• Mum: did’nt I tell you that if a guy touches your boobd say, dont & if he touches ur pussy, say stop!
Jill: but mum he touched both, so I said don’t stop.
 
• A good discussion is like a miniskirt;
Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.
 
• Question: What is the difference between “hard” and “light”?
Answer: You can get to sleep with a light on.
 
• Question: Why is masturbation better than sex?
Answer: Because you can see what you are doing!
 
• Judge: You say that the defendant stole the money from your bra, while you were wearing it. Then why did’nt you stopped him
She said: I was’nt sure he wanted
 
• Q: What is the height of fashion?
A: A female applying lipstick to her vertical lips
 
• A man walked into a ladies toilet.
A lady who was inside got furious and shoutes “This is exclusively for women”.
The man, unzipping his pants said, “This too!!”
 
• A priest lost his cock (murga)
So he asks during the mass, anyone got a cock
All man stood up
i mean anyone seen a cock
All women stood up
I meant, anyone seen my cock
All nuns stood up
 
• Q: What is the height of bravery?
A: A naked man bending over to pick up a quarter on an island of gays.
 
• Man and wife quarell.
Man: When you die your headstone’ll read: here lies my wife cold as ever.
Wife: When you die, the headstone’ll read: stiff at last
 
• A lady entered the Dr’s cabin & said I have vibrator stuck up my vagina.
Dr: U lie down and I’ll try to get it out.
Lady: Oh no just change the batteries.
 
• Three chinese Bu, Chu and Fu went to USA. They decided to americanize their names.
Bu became Buck, Chu became Chuck, Fu decided to back to China.

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