• A pushy romeo asked a gorgeous elevator operator, “Don’t all these stops and starts get you pretty worn out ?”
“It isn’t the stops and starts that get on my nerves, it’s the jerks.”
• Q: What is it that goes in hard and stiff and comes out soft and wet ?
A: Chewing gum
• Q: What’s the ultimate in rejection ?
A: When you’re masturbating, your hand falls asleep
• Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano ?
A: A diseased pussy on your organ
• Q: What is better than a rose on your piano ?
A: Tulips (two lips) on your organ
• Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!
• Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: Ao teabag
• Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period ?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her
• Q: What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons ?
A: You can also sit upright in a car
• Q: Why are blonde’s coffins Y-shaped ?
A : Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open
• Q: Why can’t blondes water-ski ?
A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down
• Q: Why can’t blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful
• A blonde goes over to the deodorant display in a store and tells the clerk “I need to buy some deodorant for my husband.”
“Does he use the ball kind?” enquired the clerk.
“No,” replied the blonde, “The kind for under his arms.”
• A blonde is suffering froma sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his torch and says “Open wide”.
“I can’t,” replies the blonde, “the chair’s fitted with arms.”
• A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy
• Doctor, taking up his stethoscope: “Big breaths.”
Adolescent Blonde: “Yeah, and I’m not even thirteen.”
• A woman walked into a sex shop to buy a vibrator. She asked the man at the counter, “Where are the vibrators?”
He said, “Follow me, come this way” by waggling with his finger.
She responded, “If I could come this way, why would I need a vibrator, you idiot ?”
• A lady accidentally got her vibrator stuck deepinside of her.
Doctor: “To remove that vibrator I have to perform a very long and delicate operation.”
Lady: “I don’t think I could afford an operation right now, could you just replace the batteries for a nominal fee ?”
• The country club instructor spent hours trying to teach the shapely young teenage girl how to swim. They had been in the pool all morning when she finally asked him, “Will I really drown if you take your finger out?”
• A husband and wife were fighting about their sex life.
“You never even tell me when you’re having an orgasm!” he yelled.
“How can I?” she shot back. “You’re never here!”
• Three stages of sex during pregnancy:
During the 1st trimester do it regular style, during the 2nd trimester do it doggie style, and during the last trimester do it wolf style.
“What the heck is wolf style?”
That’s when you sit by the hole and howl!
• Q: What is long, hard, and full of seamen ?
A: A Submarine!
• Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure that I am the first man you have slept with ?
Wife: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others
• Q: What is the difference between an action film and a blue film ?
A: One has cunning stunts and the other has stunning cunts..
• Q: What frustrated Banta the most ?
A: When his wife gave birth to twins and he is not able to find the father of the second child
• Q: How did the blonde moonwalk ?
A: He got naked from the waist down and slid his butt along the floor
• Santa and his wife, Jeeto had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary.
Santa gave Jeeto a gift – a tombstone, with the inscription:
HERE LIES MY WIFE – COLD AS EVER.
Later the furious Jeeto bought a return present – also a tombstone in which the inscription read:
HERE LIES MY HUSBAND – STIFF AT LAST.
• Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer ?
A: The joystick is wet
• Q: What’s the difference between butter and a blonde ?
A: Butter is difficult to spread
• Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball ?
A: You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball
• Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint ?
A: It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy
• Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man ?
A: “How do you breath through something so small”
• Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists ?
A: Their shaky hands
• Q: Why can’t women read maps ?
A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile
• Q: What is the definition of a menstrual period ?
A: A bloody waste of fucking time
• Q: What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common ?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed
• Q: How do you know when you are getting old ?
A: When you start having dry dreams and wet farts
• Q: What is the smallest hotel in the world ?
A: A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside
• Q: Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist ?
A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there
• A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear ?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, “Damn, some asshole has my pen!”
• Q: What is the difference between men`s cricket and women`s cricket ?
A: In men`s cricket there is a Short leg between two Long legs, and in women`s cricket there is a Deep gulley between two Fine legs
• Q: What is the relaitonship between iodex and penis ?
A: Andar tak jaaye, garmahat laaye, aaram dilaye