What will BHATTI

• Q: What will BHATTI do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..)

A: He takes a photcopy of the white paper
 
• Q: What will Santa do after taking photocopies ?
A: He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!
 
• Santa: I have to learn Telugu within 6 months or I’ll not be able to communicate with my child.
Banta: Is it ! Why ?
Santa: I have adopted a telugu child and he will start to speak after 6 months
 
• Santa: ” What`s the weather like ?”
Banta: “I don`t know –it’s so foggy that I can’t see”
 
• Santa: The aeroplane is so big. How is it painted ?
Banta: When it flies in the air, it will become small and it is easily painted
 
• Q: God gave you 2 legs to walk, 2 hands to to hold, 2 ears to hear, 2 eyes to see- but why did He give you only one heart ?
A: Because He gave the other one to someone for you to find
 
• Two cannibals were crossing a bridge. It was narrow, high, and somewhat slippery.
The male cannibal asked gallantly, “May I offer you my arm?”
The female answered, ” No thanks…I had breakfast.”
 
• A woman phoned the laundry to report, “There’s been a mistake. You sent me a pair of pyajamas, and I don’t have a husband.”
The laundry clerk replied, ” Don’t worry… we’ll send a man over right away.”
 
• A pregnant blonde sreeched at her doctor, ” You lied to me! You said that IUD Coil worl like the Pill. Well, it didn’t.., and besides, it was a whole lot harder to swallow.”
 
• A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the driver, he was astounded to see a blonde behind the wheel knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn, and yelled,
PULLOVER!”
“NO,” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
 
• After a dinner speech, the speaker scolded his secretary: “Why did you write such a long speech for me? You saw how those people were feeling bored!”
The secretary replied, “Sir, it wasn’t a lengthy speech at all; but I did make one mistake- I gave you all 3 copies of the speech.”
 
• 1st Lawyer: You’re a fool
2nd Lawyer: And you’re a damn fool.
Judge : As the learned lawyers have now identified each other, can we now proceed with the case
 
• Q: If a blonde and a brunette jump out of an airplane at the same time, which one would hit the ground first ?
A: The brunette ; the blonde would have to stop to ask directions.
 
• Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road ?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
 
• Q: Why did the Santa climb the glass wall ?
A: To see what was on the other side.
 
• A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It’s for my husband,” she tells the clerk.
“Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk.
“Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn’t even know that I’m going to shoot him!”
 
• Q: What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws?
A: Outlaws are wanted
 
• Q: How is a blonde like a bottle of beer?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up
 
• A gathering was called to mourn the death of a retired Principal. After praising his qualities, the speech ended saying, ‘It was so sad that our beloved Principal had to answer the call of nature so soon ‘.
Not to be outdone, the college paid a equally moving tribute: May his soul rest in piss (peace)
 
• Policeman: Why didn’t you stop when you saw the zebra crossing, Sir ?
Banta: Such animals should be kept in a zoo, officer !
 
• Banta put up a sign-board on his shop bearing these words.”Letters typed in three languages.”
Next day his Rival, Santa, displayed a bigger board saying: “Photostat copies prepared in all languages
 
• In the corridor of a government office was a signboard reading “Don’t make a noise.”
someone added the following words: “Otherwise we may wake up”
 
• Teacher: There is no difficulty in the world we can not overcome.
Pupil: Have you ever tried squeezing the toothpaste back into the tube, Sir?
 
• Man : I hate Paying Taxes.
Lady : A good citizen should pay his taxes with a smile.
Man : I tried that but they insisted on money
 
• Santa: That cow is a lovely colour.
Farmer: Yes ,it’s a jersey.
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its skin !
 
• While taking the interview the Employer asked the candidate,
” How long did you work during your last job.”
Candidate said 30 years.
The employer asked What’s your age?
The reply was 20.
The employer was surprised and asked the candidate that how it is possible that you are 20 and have a experience of 30 years.
The reply was Overtime.
 
• HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
 
• HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time!!!
 
• HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why, are you leaving?
 
• HE: Hi!didn’t we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!
 
• A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, “I’ve found a woman just like mother!”
His father replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”
 
• A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?”asked the friend.
The woman replied, “A billionaire”
 
• A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine”
 
• Santa went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?”
She said if she told, it would defeat the purpose.
 
• Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They’re trying to get away from the noise
 
• Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.
 
• After a dinner speech, the speaker scolded his secretary:
“Why did you write such a long speech for me? You saw how those people were feeling bored!”
The secretary replied, “Sir, it wasn’t a lengthy speech at all; but I did make one mistake- I gave you all 3 copies of the speech.”

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