• Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk”
• Titanic is going to be drowned. Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God, just then a passenger asked the captain of the ship.
Passenger: How far is land, from here?
Captain: Two miles…
Passenger: Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Captsin: …..!@#$% …??
Passenger: Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here ?
• Eve to Adam: Do you love me?
Adam nonchalantly: Who else?
• Bhatti to his girlfriend: Darling, am I the first man you ever kissed?
Girlfriend: Of course, you are the first man I’ve ever kissed! Why do all men ask the same silly question?
• Q: How did Bhatti cheat the railways?
A: He bought the ticket and didn’t travel
• Q: Why did Bhatti take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised ‘free delivery’
• Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…”
• Osama consults a psychic about the date of his death.
Psychic: You will die on an American holiday.
Osama: Which one?
Psychic: Anyday you die shall be an American holiday
• Man’s greatest enemy is alcohol, but the Bible says, ” Love thy enemy!”
• My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?”
The driver said, “No, jump in!”
• Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck
• Q: What is your date of birth?
A: February eleventh.
Q: What year?
A: Every year
• Bhatti to a girl: I want to marry you.
Girl: But, I am a year elder to you.
Bhatti: Then, I’ll marry you next year
• Rabbi answers his phone.
“Hello is this Rabbi ?”
“This is a tax auditor from the IRS. Can you help me?”
“Do you know a Sam?”
“Is he a member of your congregation?”
“Did he donate $10,000?”
• When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness
• Last week I asked my wife what she wanted as a present for her birthday.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “Just give me something with diamonds.”
That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards
• Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat man to get well. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors, gynecologists, proctologists, any place you got a hole, there’s a guy who specializes in your hole. They make an entire career out of that hole. And if the ear doctor, nose doctor, throat doctor, gynecologist, or proctologist can’t help you, he sends you to a surgeon. Why? So he can make a new hole!
• I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes
• Q: What do you call a wicked witch who lives by the sea?
A: A sand-witch
• Q: Why does a witch ride on a broom?
A: Vacuum cleaners have to be plugged into the wall
• Q: Where do vampires live?
A: In the Vampire State Building
• Q: What is a vampires favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel
• Q: Why was Dracula not at his desk?
A: He was on his coffin break
• Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer..
• Q: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people?”
• Q: How do you stop a Pakistani tank?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it
• A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months
• Bhatti could not understand why his sister had two brothers and he only had one
• Butt: “Hey, pal! You’ve been standing there watching me fish for three hours! Why don’t you get a rod and reel and do some fishing yourself?”
Bhatti:: “No, thanks. I don’t have the patience for it”
• Ravan decides to apologise to Ram.
Ram opens the door.
Ravan blankly starres at Ram & can you guess whate he is thinking?
Sala kiss moonh se maafi maangu
• Bhatti, “I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer, “I beg your pardon sir, that is a mirror
• On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god…
after that the letters reversed
• Its funny when people debate over love marriage vs arranged marriage
Its like asking them if they did like to hang themselves or shoot their brains out