• Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes
• Eve to Adam: ‘What do you mean the kids don’t look like you ?’
• Q: What is 6.9 ?
A: Good sex interrupted by a period
• Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells ?
A: Because the “b” shells were to small!
• Most of us worry about getting AIDS from sex,
but Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from his aides
• What do u usually say after sex ?
I luv u ?
That was great
I luv it
Its Tissue Tissue quick
• Women are Beautiful, Intelligent, Truthful, Charming, Helpful, Encouraging and Sincere.
In short they r B.I.T.C.H.E.S
• Condom slogans:
1. Cover your stumps b4 u hump
2. Don’t be silly, protect your willy
3. She won’t get sick if U cover your dick
• Santa reads a poster outside a police station “wanted for rape and murder cases.”
He goes in and says, “Sir I want to apply for the job on the poster !!!”
• Girls don’t bunk classes because they know missing periods means PREGNANCY
• Manager and secretary went to the hotel. When they went to bed.
Manager asked, “Do you want me to treat youu as a wife or secretary ?”
She said, “As a wife”
Manager, “Good night”
• A lady was scolding her maid 4 her inefficiency.
Angry maid: Atleast I’m better than youu in the bed.
Lady(amazed): And my husband told u this ?
Maid: No, the driver
• After unsuccessful attempts to land the plane airhostess was repeatdly saying we are on outskirts.
Santa shouted when will we enter the skirts ?
• Q: What do u call the organ of chinese ?
A: Pirated dicks
• Q: What do u call the organ of old men ?
A: Floppy dicks
• Q: What do u call the organ of aliens ?
A: Laser dicks
• Q: What do u call the organ of small men ?
A: Compact dicks
• A Gal goes to umberella’s repairman. The man says, “Ooppar ka kapda utaarna padega, rod seedha karke dalna padega.
Gal said, “Kuch bhi karo par paani andar nahin jaana chahiye”
• Santa’s and Banta’s secretary got pregnant. Santa was away at the time of the delievery.
Banta faxed him: Twins born, mine one is dead
• Q: What is the nicest thing about a wedding at a nudist colony ?
A: U dont hav to ask u know who the best man is
• It was a wise old botanist who pointed out that a penis is the only thing that has to be grown before it is planted
• Once Tarzan undressed and all animals started laughing. Tarzan asked them whats wrong ?
They all replied in unison, we’ve seen an animal witha a tail in the front for the first time
• Q: What’s the clinical term for men who need viagra ?
• Of course you’ve heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk
• Q: What’s the similarity between a woman and a guitar ?
A. You play at the top and finger the bottom…
• Q: What’s the similarity between a woman and a bank ?
A: After withdrawal, you lose interest…
• Q: Why do bald men have holes in their pants pockets ?
A: So they can run their fingers through their hair
• Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons ?
A: From dating blonde men
• Q: What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist ?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush
• Q: Why aren’t there many blonde gymnasts ?
A: When they do the splits they stick to the floor
• Sinner: Father ! Forgive me for I have sinned. I am sexually preoccupied and often read dirty jokes and view graphics on my cellphone.
Priest: My child ! Please forward them to me
• Q: What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster ?
A: A cock that stays up all night
• Q: What’s the speed limit of sex ?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around
• Q: Why don’t girls like to date basketball players ?
A: You never know if they’re going to dribble or shoot
• Q: What does a rooster and a prostitute have in common ?
A: Roosters calling: “cock-a-doodle-doo”
Prostitute calling: “any-cock-will-do”
• Mother was buying her daughter a pair of shoes and whilst trying them on, the daughter asks, “Why have they got L and R written on them?”.
Her mother replied, “So you know which feet to put them on.”
Her daughter then says, “Is that why I have C&A written on my knickers?”
• When blue collar workers go out together on a weekend they talk about football.
When middle management are together, they talk about tennis.
Top management discusses golf.
Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls