Without you

• Without you, everything means nothing.
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• Those that make the rules don’t play the game!
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• Some people aren’t officially angry until everyone knows about it.
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• Sometimes I like people; other times, they don’t agree with what I’m saying.
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• A politician is someone who makes no sense in a very convincing manner.
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• Men have an inborn talent for recognizing women from behind.
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• Men should be allowed to pee in public like the dogs they are.
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• Nutrients aren’t that bad so long as they are covered in chocolate.
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• The older I get, the more I believe we should respect the elderly.
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• A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.
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• Complaints defy physics: The more you have, the less they weigh.
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• Some girls can’t control the power of their cleavage.
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• A lot of good-looking faces are wasted on ugly people.
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• To understand politics, we must read between the lies.
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• Everyone thinks everyone else has money.
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• A friend in need is someone to avoid.
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• The nice thing about an antique is that if you crack it, it only increases the value.
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• Power means not having to respond.
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• Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time
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• Exam is a four-letter word for torture.
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• I’m only a dog because I’m faithful and loyal.
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• Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
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• Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
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• I know a man who says he’s going to invest his money in taxes – it’s the only sure thing to go up.
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• Stupidity is a personal achievement which transcends national boundaries.
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• Your problem is never really your problem, your reaction to your problem is your problem.
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• A bachelor lives like a king and dies like a beggar.
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• By the time you finish paying all your taxes, about all you have left is a receipt.
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• The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
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• Sex isn’t over-rated — it’s over-analyzed.
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• Taxes are not designed to be fair, they’re designed to raise money.
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• Marriage brings out the animal in some men, usually the chicken.
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• Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.
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• If I save time, when do I get it back?
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• Can I get directions to your heart, I’m kinda lost in ur eyes?
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• Life without you is like a broken pencil… there’s no point.
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• If your nose runs and your feet smell, you’re built up-side-down.
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• Some people fall in love. I had to crash into it.
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• I don’t mind coming to work, but that eight hour wait to go home is a bitch
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• Pain is weakness leaving the body.
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• I like acting stupid… It’s a talent of mine.
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• A small mind and a big mouth are usually found in the same place.
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• Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
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• A Bachelor can go fishing anytime, until he gets hooked.
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• I said ‘perhaps’and that is final!
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• Work is the greatest thing in the world, so save some for tomorrow.
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• Death only causes pain to those who don’t experience it.
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• Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.
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• Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
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• Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
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• We must become the change we want to see in the world.
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• First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
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• Always and Never are two words to always remember never to use.
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• A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

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